Criticism: Right Or Wrong Or Depends
Criticism can be given or received.
When received, criticism can be hard. It can be helpful or painful and humiliating. It can be soul-crushing. Even though it can be motivating, it is often discouraging.
When dished out, criticism can be satisfying. It can give the critic an ego boost.
To make things more complicated, criticism is necessary. No one – and nothing – gets better without some criticism along the way. (Think of a student, an athlete, or a product prototype.) So, criticism is a necessary evil.
Do you know the saying “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder”? It basically means that beauty is subjective. The experience and interpretation of beauty vary. It varies from person to person; it changes over time. In some respects, criticism is like that.
When you’re being criticized or criticizing ask yourself whether the criticism is called for: what’s its purpose at this specific time?
When being criticized, make sure what’s criticized: your work, actions, or you personally. Your work may need to be improved. Your actions may not have been well thought out. But when the criticism targets you personally, reject and discard it straight out. Our actions and work are subject to critique. No mistake or shortfalling defines the whole of a person.
When criticizing, ask yourself what’s the purpose and target of your criticism. Are you criticizing to effect change? Or are you criticizing to damage someone’s reputation or to stop the person from aspiring? Rethink your motifs. We all know how damaging criticism can be. Are you seeking to inspire and motivate or to destroy? If the latter is the case, why not keep your opinion to yourself?
Frank A. Clark said:
“Criticism, like rain, should be gentle enough to nourish a man’s growth without destroying his roots.”
Subject-specific, constructive criticism can be immensely helpful and can be interpreted as supportive.
Unfortunately, not all criticism is subject-specific, or constructive. Some criticism is vicious and doesn’t seem to serve any purpose other than aggrandizing the critic himself or herself.
Emmet Fox said:
“Criticism is an indirect form of self-boasting.”
Here comes a necessary pause: be self-confident yet humble enough to CONSIDER the merit of the criticism you received.
There is an additional bit of wisdom I’d like to throw into the mix. When I was a little kid, my father told me a story about a bird freezing to death. In his critical, final moments, a horse accidentally defecated on him, warming him up and saving his life. As the bird was regaining consciousness a fox came by and offered to pull him out of excrement. The bird gladly accepted and… was eaten by the fox. The moral of the story has some bearing on the subject of criticism.
Often, those who care about us seek to protect us from the truth to spare our feelings or honor our efforts. On occasion, someone we perceive as the enemy might tell us the very truth we need to hear.
Norman Vincent Peale said:
“The trouble with most of us is that we’d rather be ruined by praise than saved by criticism.”
Sometimes, an enemy’s criticism is more helpful than a best friend’s compliment. Keep that in mind when criticism gets under your skin. Why did it hurt you so badly? Could it be that it contained a grain of truth? If so, stop, discard the irrelevant parts, focus on the grain of truth, and grow from there. Each of us can use a bit of improvement.
Years from now, when you run into the critic, you may just want to thank him or her for propelling you to greater success….
To the point, is criticism right or wrong? Well, it depends. To be specific, it depends on the spirit in which it is given and the spirit in which it is received. Both, giving and receiving criticism, require some wisdom. (Do you resent a particular criticism because it has no merit, or because you didn’t feel that you could develop any further?) I highly recommend that you carefully analyze the motifs; the critic’s motifs and your own.
#Criticism #RightOrWrong #ModernSpirituality #Spirituality #HumanistChurch #HumanistHolisticChurch
If you enjoy the Holistic Church podcast, like, follow, comment, and subscribe on Spotify or YouTube! You’re also welcome to leave a comment, below. (No login required!)
