Mother’s Love

I know that some of you grew up without a mother; while others may have had a bad or neglectful one. But this episode is for those of you who have – or had – a good, loving mom. To you, a mother’s love can be trusted and should be valued and reciprocated.

A mother is your first – and arguably, most important – influencer. Your relationship with your mother often becomes a model for your adult relationships.

Mother – biological or adoptive – is the first person to love you and the first person you love.

While you were not quite human yet, your mother met all your needs. She was sensitive to all your feelings. She was always there for you: when you were sick, or sad, or scared. She celebrated your smallest victories. Her love affirmed you even when you doubted yourself. She lifted you up when your heart was broken.

She cooked love in the kitchen and made your favorite dishes. She made holidays magical. She was always your advocate. She put your needs and wants above her own. She loved you unconditionally, no matter what screw-up phases you’ve gone through. She forgave you for things no one else would. She always believed that you deserve a second, third, and fourth chance when no one else did…. Mother’s love can be trusted.

And yet, the relationship with a mother can be complicated.
While you think of yourself as a separate individual, a mother remembers being one with you. She doesn’t show off your baby pictures to a company to embarrass you but to express pride in her achievement.
She doesn’t wave your history of failures in front of you to cut you down to size – even though it feels like it – but to protect her baby from new ones.
She doesn’t give you advice that goes against everything you aspire to to spite you, but to keep you safe.

We all live our roles in life.

A mother can’t help but be proud of her creation. She remains a fierce protector of her baby forever. (Even if the “baby” resents it.)

Like it or not, your mom is the witness to – and a record-keeper of – your life. Yes, it can get embarrassing and uncomfortable, but through it all remember her intent. She’ll do all it takes to protect her investment and see her baby succeed in life.

If your mother is still here, honoring her on Mother’s Day is a nice gesture. But considering her investment in you, one Mother’s Day in a year doesn’t do her justice. Stay in touch frequently. Tell her you love her, in every conversation. Make time for her. Pay attention to her concerns. Support her interests. Don’t dismiss her advice. Don’t underestimate her wisdom.

As my Mom got older she had requests that made no sense to me. I politely glanced over and ignored them. Time marches on, I’m no longer a spring chicken myself, and lo and behold, my Mom’s “craziness” makes more and more sense…. Here is the deal: there is a significant age difference between you and your mother. Take it from me: there are some things younger people can’t understand no matter how well-intentioned, caring, or loving they might be. Listen to your mother’s “weird” requests and try to accommodate them, now. You’ll understand them later. Take my word for it. I know, I’ve been there.

I lost my Mom several years ago. Not a day goes by that I don’t miss her. I can’t tell you how many times – since her passing – I said: “Mom was right!” (Unfortunately, I had also to admit to myself that I was wrong or just plain, dumb over and over, again.)

Right after my Mom passed on, someone with common sense – or just without a heart – asked me how come I wasn’t prepared for my Mother’s death. I wasn’t. I was lost, confused, and bewildered. Yes, I’m familiar with arithmetic and I know that each of us has to die, but no, I wasn’t ready to face a life without her.
I loved my Mom very much. She was very important to me. All that’s good, wise, or beautiful about me is Her.

As children, we are told that it is sad and hard to be an orphan. Somehow, I missed the heads-up that eventually, we ALL become orphans. We do.

If your mom is no longer here, remember your best friend and the one person who loved you unconditionally! Recall moments she made memorable. Try to recreate your favorite memories, traditions, and dishes. Try to emulate your mom with your kids. She was older and wiser. She knew better. Her love and her wisdom deserve to be passed on.

Do you know how people deliver lovely eulogies during a memorial service? It’s nice when a person is remembered well, but what’s in it for the person?

Say all the things you want your mom to know while she is next to you.

Tell her how much you love and appreciate her OFTEN, not just on Mother’s Day! (Your mother didn’t watch the clock or the calendar when you needed love or care…. She was always there for you, sacrificing her own needs or wants.)

#motherslove #mothersday #mother #mom #HumanistChurch #HolisticChurch

 

 

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