Self-Care For Your Selfhood

You’ve heard it all: eat right, exercise, get enough sleep, pamper yourself. Each of the recommendations serves its purpose: stay in shape. I agree. But is it enough? How about protecting, developing, and nourishing your selfhood?

Life gets busy and we often let things get in the way of our needs. If you’re guilty of this – most of us are – pay attention. The whole shebang stands on YOU.

When you allow the self-care for your selfhood slip, you are of limited benefit to yourself and you can’t fully participate in the game of life. YOU, the whole package: body, mind, and spirit are the instruments for conceiving ideas and implementing them. Any one component of you isn’t sufficient. You need them ALL.

None of us was born to stand alone! You nurture your selfhood by connecting. I highly recommend that once a week you make the time to:

1/ Connect with nature,

the source of life: either take a barefoot walk on the soil, grass, or sand, lean on or embrace a tree. If it sounds ridiculous to you, it isn’t. A skin to “skin” contact with a natural surface of the Earth or a tree enables an actual energy transfer. It relieves stress and anxiety, and restores health.
If the weather makes such intimate contact with nature difficult, go for a walk. Even a brief walk in a park will make you feel good.

2/ Connect with yourself,

the source of your selfhood: make yourself comfortable, close your eyes and breathe with your abdomen for a couple of minutes.

Ask yourself whom and what you’re missing. What can you do about it?

What unmet needs of yours are hurting you? What can you do about that?

What – or who – is bothering you? We all know that some people’s behaviors, attitudes, or actions can be hurtful and even demoralizing. We all know that some people disrupt or interfere with our wellness, time, thoughts, and plans. If someone or something is interfering with your trajectory, avoid contact with them, or – at the very least – limit the time you spend with them. Whether the people who bother you are casual acquaintances, coworkers, your boss, a friend, or a family member, don’t allow anyone to steal your inner balance. When you own a treasure, the first order of business is to keep it safe. YOU are your greatest treasure. Protect yourself from people who threaten your comfort zone or impede your growth.

What activity lights up your fire? When did you do what you love? Isn’t it time to do it, again?

What didn’t you have time for, lately? What’s the one thing that bothers you the most?

Answer the questions. Create a schedule for making up for each item on your list. Make sure to fulfill the schedule before the week passes. Wishful thinking doesn’t solve problems. Wishful thinking doesn’t relieve pain. Complaining or feeling deprived won’t make you feel better. Make the time; find the time, steal the time! But do what you need to do to maintain your wellness.

Be honest and check your inner compass: what pain, problem or need outside of yourself is bothering you the most and what can you do to relieve, solve or otherwise address it, ASAP? Do it, even if it is piece at a time.

3/ Connect with a loved one

who is your source of love: spend time doing something you both truly enjoy and express your feelings freely.

4/ Connect with a friend

who gives you a sense of belonging and makes you feel affirmed: catch up, exchange hugs, give and receive, feel a part of.

5/ Connect with your future

by improving your skillset or expanding your knowledge. Learn something new every day. (Practical skills count, too.)

6/ Don’t be afraid to grow.

Some people believe that becoming more might endanger their relationships. Growth is a choice. Inspire those close to you to grow in their own right. Some will, some won’t. Would you really want to be less, experience less, achieve less, in other words, compromise your potential to hold on to someone who underestimates you? Don’t settle! A person who truly loves would want you to grow!

Being you is as important as being alive. Make sure – at least once a week – to affirm whom you are by doing the things that nourish your selfhood. Self-care for your selfhood supports wellness, uniqueness, and power. It isn’t self-indulgence; it’s a necessity.

When your needs aren’t met – especially, repeatedly or long term! – you lose your power, self-confidence, and resilience. You shrink and become less. Your positive impact on others diminishes as well.

You cannot afford to be less. At any stage of life, the goal is to grow. Shrinking is a warning sign.

To keep the momentum between the weekly sessions of self-care for your selfhood, develop a mantra or a set of pep talks to keep your selfhood running smoothly.

I feel good because

I’m happy because

I’m grateful for

I’m growing because (specify how: taking new classes, reading a new book, whatever applies)

Today, I will (read, write, paint, bake, do, whatever applies) to affirm my selfhood. Doing this demonstrates my superpower and moves me closer to my goals.

I’m optimistic because I’m building a world that validates my being.

Did you ever wonder why you’re different from anyone else? Because no one else can write your life story but you. Because no one else has your unique and precious attributes to share.

That’s why taking care of your selfhood is important! Don’t let anyone and anybody interfere with your selfhood and your one-of-a-kind journey. I’m not talking about being excessive, rude, or taking advantage of other people. I’m talking about keeping your selfhood intact. You have value. You have power. You matter.

Don’t try to be someone else. Don’t compare yourself to others. There is no need. The world is full of fakes. You are real.

Focus on yourself. You are the gardener in the garden of your being. Don’t give away the power to anyone else because no one else can do the job better than you. Take good care of your selfhood.

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The music featured in the video is courtesy of Magnetic Trailer.

 

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Spirituality isn’t dead.
It liberated itself from “God” and evolved into modern spirituality.